Perhaps you know a young person who is coming out, or a colleague transitioning, as they experience the mix of joy and vulnerability LGBTQIA+ individuals often face. Allies play an important role in supporting LGBTQIA+ individuals, using the preferred acronym for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer or questioning, intersex, or asexual.
True allyship is an active, lifelong practice of support, sustained by a network of safety, not just individual private gestures.
In this article, I explain why a support network is important and how being an effective ally within it is helpful.
What is An LGBTQIA+ Ally?
Being an LGBTQIA+ ally means taking ongoing, intentional action to support LGBTQIA+ people’s safety, dignity, and full participation in every area of life. A strong support network is one of the most protective factors for LGBTQIA+ mental health and well‑being. Allies help build those networks. They listen, show up, challenge discrimination, and connect people to affirming communities and resources [1].
Support Networks: More Than Just Friends
Allies can feel overwhelmed by the emotional labor and the weight of confronting bias alone. This is why allyship must be a shared responsibility, and support networks are key.
An effective support network has many layers, each performing a different function.
- Layer 1: The Inner Circle (Intimate Support): Family, chosen family, and close friends provide unconditional love, a safe haven for vulnerability, and daily affirmation.
- Layer 2: The Community Circle (Shared Identity and Experience): These are the LGBTQIA+ peers, community groups, online forums, and student and employee resource groups. It offers validation, reduces isolation, and provides wisdom based on shared experience.
- Layer 3: The Ally Circle (Active Advocacy): Allies operate here, including supportive coworkers, teachers, healthcare providers, heterosexual or cisgender friends, and faith leaders. They amplify voices and challenge bias.
- Layer 4: The Institutional Layer (Systemic Support): The foundational safety that allows the other layers to thrive is found in inclusive workplace policies, affirming healthcare practices, LGBTQIA+-friendly schools, and protective laws.
Why Support Networks Matter
LGBTQIA+ people face higher rates of discrimination, depression, anxiety, and suicidality than their non‑LGBTQIA+ peers. Rather than their identities themselves, this is due to stigma and minority stress. Social support, especially from family, peers, and affirming professionals, buffers these stressors, improves belonging, and is linked to better mental health outcomes [2].
Peer networks and employee or campus LGBTQIA+ groups provide spaces where people can “bring their whole selves”. Affirming friends, community groups, and online spaces become critical sources of resilience and connection when family support is limited.
Core Principles of Allyship
Effective allyship is active and involves using whatever influence you have, socially, professionally, or politically, to challenge prejudice, support inclusion, and amplify LGBTQIA+ voices without speaking over them.
Good allies keep learning about LGBTQIA+ histories, terminology, and issues instead of expecting LGBTQIA+ people to provide all the education. They also practice intersectionality by recognizing that LGBTQIA+ people may face overlapping marginalizations related to race, disability, class, religion, or immigration status.
8 Practical Ally Actions Within the Network
Being an ally within this network means playing specific, active roles [3] [4] [5].
- Listen and Educate Yourself: Stress that the labor of education should not fall on LGBTQIA+ individuals. Seek out resources (books, documentaries, credible websites). Listen more than you speak. Read widely on LGBTQIA+ identities, mental health, and rights. Seek out content created by LGBTQIA+ people (books, podcasts, documentaries, trainings). This makes you more informed and reduces the emotional labor you place on LGBTQIA+ friends or clients to “explain everything.”
- Affirm: Ask how people describe themselves and what pronouns they use. Then respect this. Listen rather than debate.
- Use Your Voice & Privilege: Amplify LGBTQIA+ voices, don’t speak for them. Speak up in spaces where LGBTQIA+ people might not be present (e.g., advocating for inclusive policies in meetings).
- Challenge Prejudice and Create Safety: Challenge anti-LGBTQIA+ comments in your circles. Explain why they are harmful. In families, classrooms, clinics, teams, and faith spaces, advocate for inclusive language, anti‑harassment policies, and visible signals that LGBTQIA+ people are welcome.
- Offer Practical Support: Be specific: “I’m driving to the Pride event, who needs a ride?”, “I’ll be your practice buddy for using new pronouns.” Show up visibly.
- Respect Boundaries and Confidentiality: Coming out is not a one-time event. Don’t out someone without their permission. Know that trust is earned.
- Support the Support System: Encourage other allies and strengthen the ally circle. Thank someone for speaking up. Share resources.
- Make Mistakes, Then Do Better: Apologize sincerely if you misgender someone or put your foot in your mouth. Learn from it. Don’t make your guilt the focus.
Helping Build a Support Network
Allies can actively help LGBTQIA+ people access and strengthen supportive relationships and communities.
Connect to Peer and Community Spaces
Encourage and help locate LGBTQIA+ community centers, campus groups, employee networks, affirming faith communities, and online peer spaces, especially for youth or those in unsupportive environments. These spaces reduce isolation and provide role models, mentorship, and practical resources.
Support Access to Affirming Care
When there are signs of distress, help link people to LGBTQIA+ competent mental health providers, hotlines, and support groups. Where appropriate, accompany or check in after appointments. Organizations backing formal ally or Pride networks and training programs can institutionalize support and increase the number of informed allies available.
Sustain Your Allyship Over Time
The goal of allyship is to weave a net of support so strong that no one falls through. Allyship involves staying engaged. Culture change can be brought about as more people become informed allies. This makes it easier for LGBTQIA+ people to live openly and thrive.
Finding Support for Healing at Corner Canyon
Treatment for mental health conditions and trauma is available in Utah. Are you or a loved one looking for a compassionate space to heal from anxiety, trauma, PTSD, CPTSD, other mental health conditions, or addictions? Our licensed trauma-informed professional therapists and counselors at Corner Canyon Health Centers can provide compassionate help using a range of therapeutic and holistic techniques.
Reach out to our Admissions team now at Corner Canyon. We’re in a peaceful setting bordered by the beautiful Wasatch Mountains.
Sources
[1] Codd E. 2020. Why being an LGBT+ ally can transform lives – yours included. World Economic Forum.
[2] Wijntermeyer J. 2023. Five Practical Ways To Be a Powerful LGBTQ Ally. Spectrum Magazine.org.
[3] American Psychiatric Association. 2023. Five Ways to Support LGBTQ+ Mental Health.
[4] Shelton K. nd. 10 Tips to Become an Active Ally for the LGBTQIA+ Community.
[5] LGBTQIA Resource Center. How to be an Ally. UCDavis.edu.